Autism as a DISability

We all know that Autism is labeled as a disability. And there is dispute among the community as to whether it is in fact a disability. There's confusion and distress over abelism both within the community and aimed at those without. And all the while, we fight to exist.

Never have I truly experienced what this felt like until I became a parent and I had to fight for my kid. There's this thing that happens when you become a parent and you've had trauma you've been working through and you don't have parents to help you through it: you have to parent your kid while parenting your inner child too. It's exhausting. And it's even more exhausting when you have a neurodivergent child on top of it.

See, they say there's support. But then, there isn't enough of it. So you bring all this evidence to experienced professionals and they still deny you because the kid makes eye contact. So you drive yourself crazy finding another evaluator and seeking external support and the two school half an hour away that could maybe support your kid.

And then you're burnt out so you go to your doctor for help and she says "well your therapist should be helping you manage that." And you think to yourself "Gee wouldn't it be nice if quitting Tylenol really was the answer?"

I digress. Autism isn't a disability because we have trouble with social cues and food textures. Autism is a disability because there isn't a common communal support system. We have to do so much of the leg work on our own and with such limited energy. And then we still get told it's all our fault. The fact is: this world wasn't built for us. We have to fight to exist here as we are.

And I'm not telling you to stop fighting. I fully believe in the fight. And it fully makes sense why you are so tired. So sleep. Take your rest. Disappear into your nest. Fuck the world and whoever shames you. And when you're ready, get out there and fight some more because change happens slowly. And the more we fight, the better we make it for those who come after us.